I’ve lived in so many different places.
I grew up in Maine, and my favorite childhood house was one that had a big river and a forest in the back, where I used to go kayaking and exploring in nature.
In my adult life, I’ve lived in artsy loft apartments, I’ve house-hopped my way through the country, and I've traveled across the Pacific. I lived on a fruit farm on a tropical island in a tent, with a communal living space for all us wwoofers (world wide organic farmers). I lived in a retreat center, I’ve lived with multiple local families out here on Maui, I’ve car camped too many times to count, and I’ve been homeless.
Like I said, I’ve lived in a lot of places, and as soon as I turned 18, I moved over 5,000 miles away from my home state to try a new way of life. Now ten years later, still on Maui, I live in a little tiny home by the ocean with my partner and our 5 dogs (good thing they're all small). A few days ago we just celebrated our one year anniversary of moving into this house, and I’ve been reflecting on the past year, how amazing it's been and how much I’ve grown here, as it is the first time I’ve actually had my own space.
Because I moved around so much, I always had this slight feeling of instability and uneasiness, like I could never truly rest. I mostly stayed with people (travelers, families, or roommates), and I discovered that I’m very sensitive to others' energy, so it's hard for me to fully feel at peace with so much going on around me. Also, most of the time I had an underlying uncertainty of not knowing how long I could be there. All this being said, I was very much existing in survival mode.
I’m all for being spontaneous and living in the moment, but I realized that what I needed was more stability, structure, and my own place - so that I could feel safe, calm, and finally let my creativity be free. In light of all these feelings I was having, I started visualizing and affirming for my new house - calling it in...and it didn’t take too long. :)
This little house was a miracle. It came to me at a time when we needed to be out of our current living situation within a month, and so I was doing all I could to manifest a new home for us. In perfect timing, my friend (a free-spirited traveler at heart), offered me her tiny home. She was leaving island to go travel for a while, and finding a place to store the house while she was gone was too much of a burden. Even better, she said I could keep it!
So it was a mutual exchange - she gained her freedom back, and I gained a home of my own. The only catch was that we had a limited amount of time to find a spot to place the tiny house and we'd have to figure out how to move it across the island. I accepted the challenge without hesitation (trusting that it would all work out), and with help of my partner, we find a landowner who was willing to let us park it on his property (dogs and all). We agreed on an amazingly affordable monthly price, and it's right here on the ocean with a breathtaking view of a black sand beach.
It was an absolute dream come true, and now one year later, I feel like I’ve really settled into a more secure and grounded version of myself. I’ve been establishing stable routines and systems within my household, and I'm getting solid sleep every single night - which does wonders for your nervous system. Who knew!
It's still a pretty rustic lifestyle though - we are living off grid with no electricity or running water, so I’ve had to adapt to a different way of doing things. Also living in a micro tiny house, I’ve had to adjust to a superhuman level of organization. But it’s worth it because it's our home, it belongs to me, and there’s no rush to leave this place.
Although we can stay here as long as we need, I have a burning desire to keep moving forward. My dream is to move this tiny home onto my own land, and I’m starting to call that in - just so I can have even more freedom to put roots and really build my life the way I want. But for now, I’m just soaking in the gratitude that I’m feeling, because this house was truly a blessing, and it has grounded me so much so that I'm now outgrowing it. It has been such a nurturing habitat that I've felt safe enough to expand and start creating again. This growth feels a little uncomfortable but also fucking exciting!
They say home is where the heart is, and that home is what you make it. No matter if you’re traveling, staying with family, have a bunch of roommates, you're in between places, or you have your dream house, you can always cultivate the essence of home. Within you.
Home is the feeling of safety, nurture, comfort, security, peace, freedom, joy, love, protection, stability, and beauty. You can experience all of that in this moment, no matter what your living situation looks like right now.
For a long time, I yearned for a home (especially when I was houseless), and then I started giving this gift to myself - allowing these feelings that are always available for us to experience. And the more I tuned into this home energy, the more my living situation began to shift and change, leading me to my dream space. It all starts with you.
If you’re struggling with your home life at the moment and you’re desiring change, know that firstly, anything is possible. Secondly, you hold the key to transformation. Become the home within yourself, and your outer world will reflect that.
- Sarah
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Note From Me:
*As I reflect back on experiences I’ve had throughout my life, I find that it brings me great joy to put them into words - to voice what I’ve been through, and to also express any insights learned from each one. Sharing stories seems to satisfy this inner yearning to leave my mark - and at the very least, it always leaves me feeling lighter and more true to myself. So that is why I write, and my intention is to uplift, entertain, and maybe even inspire others to share their own experiences with the world. We all have a story.
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